Addis Ababa 05.05.2019
I landed in Addis Ababa this morning. One more try, hope, wish full of love and warmth that everything could be as beautiful as I wished, hoped for, all I ever wanted.
You didn’t pick me up.
I know you are doing something you’re hiding from me, you’re lying about, that seperates us. Something that proves you are bad for me.
Alain de Botton says, ” A marriage doesn’t begin with a proposal, or even an initial meeting. It begins far earlier, when the idea of love is born, and more specifically the dream of a soulmate.”
I always knew I would find you. I just didn’t know you would turn out to be like this.
Where are you?
I miss thinking I know you…L. Shams
L.Shams. Oil on canvas. 2018.
I fell in love with you because it was right. I loved you for everything you could have been, for what we could have been.
But you were not, and we were not, and we would would have never been.
I thought you were the best I could ever meet, that could happen to me.
And then you proved me over and over again that you were not.
Oh well! iSn’t that what you always say…
So I suppose you are not.
There is nothing I can do about it. Its you. You should have. And never will.
Because to you this never had the importance it had to me.
An idiotic importance. A little self-reflected important.
Here I felt sorry for you, for not realizing your full potential, when in reality I was not realizing my full potential by staying with you.
I fell in love with you. I felt sorry for you. For not being man enough to not stand to your word, for not realizing you were a man, for not realizing you were just simply lying.
NOw I let go of you.
All we have in common is fight.
There’s no pleasure, pleasant moent, no love, it was never there.L. Shams
And when two trees found each other.
They kissed. They danced. They loved each other.
They stayed together for 4 consecutive days and four nights of life and they separated. Leaving with scars that covered their entire bodies. Remaining isolated as by their nature. One from another. One from another tree until they died.L. Shams
The sun was dancing around the tree, happily, jumping, raising and waving its legs and arms high up in the air. Smiling, a smile that entices the all enduring hope of finally arriving, of eternal warmth of the heart, happiness and love.
The sun danced until the sun went down.
When the moon arrived and lit the sky,L.Shams
The tree was dead.